India Reacts To UK 3,000 Visa Bound, Demands Payment from Britain for Overstaying Till 1947

The Indian government has announced that it will be charging the British government arrears in rent and visa fees for overstaying till 1947. Calculations will be done on a per head per year basis, beginning in the early 17^th century.
“We will be charging extra for Lord Mountbatten,” said a government spokesperson, “Since he stayed till 1948.”
This move was in reaction to an announcement that all Indians entering the UK will now have to pay a bond of 3000 pounds, leaving them little or no money for shopping. Instead, the British government will refund the money on departure, so that they can spend it back in India.
Moving swiftly, the Indian government has arrested prominent Britons Mark Tully and Katrina Kaif, prior to deportation for non-payment.
“In order to cause minimum inconvenience, I offered to share a cell with Ms. Kaif,” said Mr. Tully, “But they refused me.”
In other retaliatory measures, described by some analysts as ‘draconian’, Doordarshan newscasters will now speak in American accents, the Indian Army will no longer play bagpipes, and Union Law Minister Kapil Sibal is being presented an award for ‘Excellence in English Poetry’. The government has also demanded the immediate return of the Kohinoor Diamond, Art Malik, and the entire North West Wing of the British Museum.
British PM David Cameron has reacted strongly.
“As soon as we figure out what the visa rules are,” he said, “We will give a befitting reply.”

6 Year Old Passes GCSE Maths, Sat For The Exam At the Age of Five

A six-year-old girl from east London, who sat her GCSE maths at the age of five, has passed the exam.

Deborah Thorpe, of Chadwell Heath, thought to be the youngest in England to pass a GCSE, achieved an E grade.

Her father Charles said: "You see young people in the newspapers who have taken exams and you think, why not?"

Deborah, who wants to be a doctor, said maths was not her favourite subject. The girl was among 650,000 pupils receiving their GCSE results.

A spokesman for the Joint Council for Qualifications, which releases the exam results, said the organisation did not hold records on the ages of pupils taking the exams.

But he added that he could not recall a younger GCSE entrant in England.

Last year a boy of seven, Oscar Selby, from Surrey, received an A* in GCSE maths.
Gender gap
Across England, Wales and Northern Ireland the proportion of entries awarded between an A* and a C grade rose for the 23rd year in a row, with 69.8% making the grade.

But boys dropped behind girls yet again at the top grade, with 19.6% of their exam entries awarded A* or A, compared with 26.5% for girls.

Deborah, a pupil at St Bede's Catholic Primary School in Chadwell Heath, takes extra lessons on Saturdays and is not allowed to watch television after classes on school nights. She said she was not sure whether she would take more exams next year.

Mr Thorpe, 44, a mental health support officer, said: "We thought we might as well just give it a go.

"I wouldn't say maths is her favourite subject, but when she says she wants to be a doctor I tell her that she must be very good at science and maths.

"We want her to be outstanding and exceptional in every way."

Mr Thorpe, who does not think his daughter is too young to cope with exams usually taken by 16-year-olds, said: "I wouldn't say that she is too young.

"Presidents of the world used to be old and now they are middle-aged. The younger generations are taking over now.

"We don't stress her out, telling her 'you've got to do this'."

--- BBC news

Wike betrayed me, I personally submitted his name to President Jonathan for ministerial appointment – Amaechi

Rivers State Governor, Mr. Rotimi Amaechi, has said that the Minister of State for Education, Mr. Nyesom Wike, betrayed him despite helping him secure a Ministerial appointment.
Wike, who also hails from the same community as the governor, was Amaechi’s former Chief of Staff.
However, both men have been at loggerheads on issue bordering on the 2015 elections, with Wike supporting the presidency against his former boss.
Amaechi spoke on Saturday during a church service to mark the 60th birthday of the former President of the Nigerian Bar Association, Chief O.C.J. Okocha, at the Emmanuel Anglican Church in Port Harcourt, the state capital.
Reacting to questions by the officiating priest, the Bishop of Anglican Communion, Niger Delta Diocese, Archbishop Ignatius Kattey, the governor regretted that most of the individuals he helped attained high positions had turned against him.
They include Wike and the former Deputy Speaker of the House of Representatives, Chief Austin Okpara.

His words, “This will be the first time I will be talking about my former Chief of Staff in public. My former Chief of Staff is too small for me to talk about. I don’t want to discuss him and I have never done that before. Today will be my first and last day.
“There are men with character and there are men without character. I don’t believe that money can solve all problems and I don’t worship money.
“My greatest fear is that where am I going after here on earth? Let me also tell you that I have been betrayed several times in politics and majority of those who betrayed me are from my Ikwerre ethnic group.
Continuing, he recalled how the people of Ikwerre cried of marginalization before he assumed office.
“Before I became a Speaker, can we look back at Ikwerre history? We were crying; we wanted governor, we wanted this and that. The last ministerial appointment was Chief Emmanuel Aguma, a long time ago, and that was the last Ikwerre Ministerial appointment.”
Ameachi lamented that despite his support and friendship, Opara left him in the cold when he needed him most.
Speaking further, “Again, you can ask Mr. President, I submitted his name (Nyesom Wike) as minister. Where is he now? I, Chibuike Rotimi Amaechi, submitted his name as minister to President Jonathan. But where is he now? You must have character, you must be known for something,” he said.

--- Daily Post